You have to start with my Mom's Buttermilk Biscuit recipie.   Don't worry, she doesn't mind me sharing it:

• Mix together:
  • 4 cups flour
  • 4 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda, and
  • 2 tsp salt. Then cut in til the grain is real fine
  • 1 cup of butter. (Don't you dare use margarine.)
  Then mix in real lightly with a fork:
  • 2 cups of buttermilk

The trick to light biscuits is to hardly handle the dough at all.   But still you have to turn it out onto a well floured surface and knead it REAL lightly; about six to ten times.   Now if you were going to go ahead and make biscuits, you would pat it out with floury hands to about a half an inch thick, cut it into the shape of your choice and bake them on an ungreased cookie sheet at about 425° for 10-12 minutes.   (Place them close together for soft sides, about an inch apart for crusty sides.)

But for fruit pizza, you're going to pat it out on whatever kind of cookie sheet or pizza pan or whatever you're going to use to make the pizza.   I have no way of knowing how big your pan(s) is, so don't ask me how much pizza that glob of dough is going to make.   You'll just have to figure it out by yourself, just like most of parenting.   I spray the pan first with pan spray.   You'll bake the crust like the biscuits above, but you'll have to watch it to see when it's really done; it'll be a golden brown.   Don't burn it!

• Now while the crust is cooling, you have to get all the other stuff ready.   First you make up a kind of cream cheese frosting.   This is mostly by taste and feel, so just look at how much crust you have, throw some
  • softened cream cheese in the mixer and start beating it.   My feeling is that it's better to have too much than too little, so I would start with two of those 8oz packages.   Add
  • a little sweetner of your choice but I would stay away from the artificial ones as their off flavors could ruin all your hard work.   If you're trying to lower the sugar in your diet, just use stevia, or no sugar.   With all the fruit, you hardly need this part to be sweetened at all.   The trick to cooking by taste is to just add in a little at a time and keep tasting it, but not taste so much that you eat your creation before it's done.   You can use
  • a little fruit juice from your cut up fruit here to smooth it out (only a tablespoon or two at a time, or it will get too runny,) or
  • some cream or milk.   If you use a red juice, it will make it a pretty pink background for the fruit.
  • Also add a teaspoon or two or three of vanilla.   When the crust is cool, spread this frosting on top of it.

• Now, you also have to make a glaze to put over the top, and it will have to cool a little bit before you put it on, so plan ahead.   The glaze is to make sure your fruit doesn't turn brown, so if you don't have any fruit that will do that, you can skip this part if you want, but my daughter doesn't think it's as good without it.   Just put
  • about a cup of orange juice in a small saucepan.   Add
  • a little honey if you want.   I bet you could use lime or lemon juice for this too, or any other juice high in Vitamin C.   Mix up
  • a couple of tablespoons of arrowroot powder or cornstarch in a half a cup of cold water til it dissolves.   I like arrowroot cause it's better for you and the sauce turns out less cloudy.   Slowly stir it into the heated orange juice and let it cook and bubble til it thickens a bit.

I know these directions are driving some of you crazy, but this is how I learned to cook, so this is how I have to tell it to you.   Be daring.   It doesn't really matter if this turns out too thick or too thin.   The idea is just to keep your pizza pretty.

Now, somewhere in here, you found the time or a friend to chop up a bunch of fruit, which you now will arrange artfully on the cream cheese stuff.   This is really your chance to be creative and to make the pizza your very own.   Just like real pizza, you just put on the stuff you like.   I like to slice banana and kiwi for the bottom layer.   If you're using really juicy fruit, like frozen strawberries, be sure to drain some of the juice out or it will soak into your crust and you'll have a big mess.   Use as much or as little fruit as you want, just remember, the more you use, the heavier the pieces will be and the fruit might start rolling all over the floor.   Glob or drizzle the glaze more or less evenly over the fruit, making sure to hit the ones that would turn brown, like bananas or apples.   Now step back and admire your hard work before you devour it.

One of my brilliant friends who has a family reunion every year figured out how to make fruit pizza easier.   They delegate each job to a different person, all converging on the reunion with their components.   Then they assemble it together on the spot.   Not only is it easier to transport that way, but there's no chance of it getting soggy, no one had to work too much and they have the fun of creating it all together.   However you decide to make it, be sure to Have Fun and put lots of love in it or it will taste just as sour as your attitude.

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